Letters From Lindsay

I’m tired of being faux-kay.

I find it difficult to explain what the title of this blog means.  Basically, (mostly) everybody thinks that someone else’s job is neater/cooler than theirs.  Most people don’t think their job is that interesting.  If someone compliments them, they often say, “Oh…no…what I do isn’t cool.  Doing (insert neat thing here) is cool.”

Now, some folks are totally content with what they are doing.  That’s wonderful.  Commendable even.

But the majority of folks think that someone else does something neater than they do.

So prestige is in the eye of the beholder.  You may not think your job is cool, but someone else probably does. 

Disclaimer: I love my job.  I think it’s awesome.  I think it’s cool.  I also think other jobs are cool.  But I am in no way unhappy with my job.   

Yesterday was my birthday.  As I sat in my car during my lunch break today, I pondered to myself, “I wonder if this’ll be the year that I find a boy….*corrects self*…a man.  I wonder if I’ll find a man this year.  Is this the year, God?  Is it?”

Since I’m 365 days older now, it was a natural point of reference to wonder about such a thing.  I’d think the same sort of stuff on January 1st.  It’s a new year, so I casually wonder what God has in store for me.

Mind you, I’m not worried.  I’m not craving every moment of my day to find a man to betrothe and live with forever.  I’m not pining over every male that I see walk by me.  I’m not even sad that I’m single.  I actually rather like it.  I’m fully aware that God uses my single years to draw me closer to Himself.  I appreciate and value my intimacy with Him.

As I munched on my Cheetos, I wondered further, “Will I get married, God?  Aren’t I supposed to be fully satisfied in You?  I know the Bible doesn’t promise that I’ll get married.  That’s not a guarantee.  I’m not unhappy this way.”

Really.  I’m not unhappy.

I continued further, “Although, I would really appreciate that level of companionship with someone.  I’d love to know someone that fully and completely.  I would love to have that eternal companion.”

I took a break and reminded myself that married people aren’t married in heaven.

 ”Well, eternal as far as life on earth goes.  I would love not to be alone when I go to major family events.  I’d love to have my own 4th of July celebration with my family–my husband and my kids–instead of hanging out with some other family that I don’t even really relate to.

I surmised that I don’t dwell on my current lack of marriage and companion relationship.  That makes me happy.

However, I was then reminded of something else.  I often size a brother up.  I see a guy at church that I know is single and I think to myself, “Yeah…he’d be a good husband.  I think we’d fit.”  Or…”No…he focuses too much on exercise.  I wouldn’t wanna think about health that much.”

One of my greatest weaknesses is sizing people up.  I do it for everyone, male or female.  I know it’s wrong.  I know I shouldn’t be so comparative and critical.  But so often, I am.  Let me tell you that I’m a lot better at not comparing than I used to be, but it’s still a purposeful mental battle for me not to be instantly judgmental.

I don’t pine after men.  But I do size them up according to my personal scale.

It’s honestly a mild form of objectification.  I take a man’s character and life and compare it to my personal ideals and desires.  It’s a great struggle.  One that the world thinks is stupid to even be concerned about. 

Newslflash: It isn’t biblically sound and/or normal to size up members of the opposite sex.  God’s not a fan of it.  Thus, every sizing that I do, I’m disobeying God.  And as I’m not walking in obedience, He’s not going to reward me or bless me in that area. 

Though my sizing up is to a lesser degree, it still occurs.  It occurs daily.  So to say that I don’t think about boys or marriage that often is a total, shady lie.  Subconsciously or totally blantantly, I’m thinking about marriage when I size up a guy.

It makes me feel kinda shameful too.  I’m a tad hesitant to even mention this to the world public.  However, I think it’s something important to be discussed and admit.  After all, the Bible calls us to confess our sins to one another so that we can grow and be held accountable.

*accountably held*

My roommate mentioned that she didn’t think I’d get married this year.  I agree with her.  As long as this sized-up comparison continues, singleness will continue.

I have had days and weeks of breakthrough with this.  Sometimes I see my Christian brother and don’t think of them in a comparative way at all.  However, some days I do.

So as I tame this comparative mind of mine, please hold me accountable.  And don’t be surprised if you find yourself behaving the same way.  If ya do…let’s talk.  I have years of experience.

Football is a god.  Football is an idol.  All sports taken to an extreme level are gods.

I was sitting at a “pivotal” football game last night in Columbia, Missouri.  My team lost.  Oh well.  I don’t care too much about it. 

 On July 7th, 2007, I was sitting in a different football stadium at an event called The Call Nashville.  The leader, Lou Engle, mentioned that it was really sad that people could fill football stadiums weekly to cheer on their favorite team.  Yet, people consider it weird to fill a football stadium to worship Jesus.

Think about it.  Most people would think it normal to clap, do the wave and chant in unison in support of their favorite team.  Yet, if someone is at church, they may struggle raising their hands in abandon to praise their Creator.  It’s no problem for people to scream in support of their favorite team to cheer them on for several minutes at a time at the top of their lungs.  Yet, if in church, many people are reluctant to scream their praise to God.  People feel embarrased to shout out words of thanks for Jesus Christ.

On another similar tangent, there’s crowd theory.  If a few people start clapping, soon thousands will clap.  If one side of a stadium chants the letters to a team name, then the other side will follow.  If there’s an inebriated man shouting degrading remarks about the opposing team, soon others will follow. 

It’s infinitely saddening for me to think about how people can have so much faith in a football team, yet little to no faith in God.  They spend thousands/millions/billions of dollars in support of their favorite team.  They invest hours upon hours in travel, watching and critiquing the games.

Fans put so much faith in their team.  They praise and curse as they watch the game unfold.  They rationalize in their head, “Oh, if they could just win the division or just win the National Championship, then life would be better.  I wouldn’t be so sad.  Things would be looking up.”

When people put faith in anything but God, they will be disappointed.  At some point, their favorite team will lose.  Believing in a team won’t lead to salvation.  Giving millions of dollars to a franchise won’t secure a spot in heaven.

Football (insert any other sport here) is a god.  People worship it.  It is their idol.  They bow to the schedule.  They plan their life around the next game.  They put more emphasis on watching a game than spending time with family.  Fans get drunk and beat up their wives and kids because their team lost.  Men and women get together to “drink their cares away” all in the name of football. 

And then there’s a whole ‘nother attribute to this madness.  Fans who worship and focus extremely on teams often hate the opposing teams.  They curse other states or cities that house opposing teams.  It’s like an uncivilized civil war.  Nebraskans profess hate for Coloradans, Oklahomans, Missourians, Texans…just because of football, and the other teams profess hate too.

That leaves an open door for Satan to spur up negativity, lies, deceit, hate, maliciousness, envy, jealousy, murder…all kinds of things.

Last night I was very grieved for the heart of God.  70,000 (and often so many more) people can show up in support of football teams weekly…but it would be a stretch for that many people to show up to support Him on a frequent basis.  I was ruined for ordinary last night.  I used to love football.  I was a die hard Husker fan.  Now I don’t want anything to do with it.  I have no desire to spend money on a ticket.  I have no zest for the Husker Nation.  I was just so upset at everything and so grived in my Spirit by the backwardness that I saw. 

People should be worshipping God with that much fervor.  People should shout His praises as loudly as for their favorite sports team.  But they don’t.  Some do..yeah.  But so many don’t.

Although it sounds like (or reads like…ha) I’ve totally given up on sports…I haven’t.  Something needs to be done about this.  Some Spirit-filled believer needs to confront this sports-fanish-idol-worshipping madness and show these people the Truth.  I don’t know how that can be done…but it needs to be.  I know a few people have mentioned this issue, but I’ve not seen a huge movement against the worship of the god of football…and the hero worship of the players/teams/coaches.

Maybe the person to rise up against it is me.  Maybe I’m the voice.  I’m not sure.  I’ll wait on God to tell me what to do next.