Off to the DR

So, it’s finally here!

Tomorrow at 3:45 a.m., I leave for the Dominican Republic! I’m excited! I know God will do a marvelous work in me and through me while I’m away. Please pray for me/our team while we’re gone. i.e. team unity, safety, protection, etc., etc.

Also, for updates while we’re in the DR, read our team blog at http://newsongdrteam.wordpress.com.

I’ll post when we get back with lots of pics, stories, testimonies…

 

Captive Audience

Tonight I went to my second Murfreesboro Writers’ Group meeting. The first time I went, I read a song I recently wrote while on a plane ride. It was called “Fragmented Patches.” Maybe I’ll post it later. I don’t know. Do you want to read it?

I joined the writers’ group for a few reasons. I want to meet new people. I work at home so I have a limited workplace sphere of influence. Through this group, I can influence people. I haven’t been writing very much and I wanted motivation to start again. I have nothing else to do on the second and fourth Wednesday of every month. I used to have Life Group that night, but ours now meets on the second and fourth Sundays of the month.

This writers’ group is a HUGE witnessing opportunity. Huge. Huge. As you’re surely aware, writing is a deeply personal activity. Writers write what they feel. And, if they claim to have no feelings, they make up characters who have the feelings the writer is denying.

What you may or may not know about writers is that they generally value each other’s work highly. For example, this particular writers’ group is for constructive criticism only. There is no tearing down of work, thought or concepts. There are many compliments. Several people are impressed by other people. A lot of the attendees in this group are writing novels and short stories. I am mostly focusing on poetry. When I read a poem, some of the writers have no concept of how to construct a poem. They are in awe of the entire poetry genre. To them, it’s a terribly interesting thing that they like but don’t know how to do.

As I was casually seated in my oversized Barnes and Noble chair, I quickly realized how crucial this opportunity is for me. I can write about whatever I want and they have to sit there and listen to me. The same goes for them. I have to sit there and listen to whatever they say too.

I am a Christian. My life is Christ. Naturally, I write about Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit/worship. Some of these folks “aren’t religious.” Those are their words, not mine. But they are intrigued by the things I’ve written and shared. They find what I say interesting and eloquent.

That’s good, cuz I prayed they would. I asked God to soften their hearts and make them receptive to the Truth that I’ll deliver. I also asked Him to protect me from any harmful subject matter that the other writers detail. 

My first week, I read the part of a flirty, vampire girl. That’s so not my life. But this lady was writing a play and she needed people to read the lines. That was the part I was given.

I’ve heard stories of other-worldly mutant dogs; vampires; back-from-the-dead brothers; a pre-meditated, adultery-headed man; sword-chasing, sci-fi fantasy characters and a seriously demented mortician. Oh the imagination writers have!

And to that spattering of ideas and fantasies, it’s my task to bring Jesus.

I must be intentional with the stuff I present. I have a captive audience. Literally. In two ways. One, they are captive and must pay attention to what I say. Two, they are captives, bound in the lies of the enemy. With the truth that I share through my poems/songs/potential novels, I will hope they see freedom. And, in turn, desire to grasp that freedom.

So, if you’re reading this and you believe in Jesus, please pray for me. I have a unique and powerful opportunity. I’m very excited. I like being spurred to write again, too. It’s such a catharsis for me. I get a little giddy thinking about the possibilities of the words that will come out.

 

Ending Is Beginning

My blog title is a shout out to Downhere. I’m listening to them play live right now at a GMA showcase. I wanted to go, but had other plans. So I’m watching/listening to a live stream of their set isntead. Their latest CD is called Ending Is Beginning. It’s very good. You should purchase it.

Though I love the band Downhere and their music. This blog is not about them.

It’s about BarlowGirl.

Depending on how well you know me, you know/or you don’t know/or are slightly aware of/or are overly aware of how much I love this band. I do not love them in a fanish, obsessive way. On the contrary. I love them like they are family.

Allow me to explain myself. Whether you take me seriously about my “love them like they are family” comment or not, I’m still going to continue. Be skeptical if you wish. But trust me and know that I am speaking in the utmost pure sincerity about this.

For the last four years of my life, I have faithfully served on the leadership team of BarlowGirl’s message board. It’s called SoundPost. The name is further shortened to SP. Hope you can keep up with all the names/references.

For pretty much every single day of the last four years, I have spent at least an hour (an hour was required) working on that message board, reading posts, answering questions, telling other leaders about problem areas/posts/people and doing other things. Most days, I was on there for well more than an hour. I was assigned to The Band and The Concerts section. I read and answered all sorts of questions about them every day. I’ve garnered ridiculous amounts of trivial BarlowGirl knowlege. Their height, their hair color, their eye color and their many middle names, just to mention a few. I’ve told little 12 year olds not to idolize them. I’ve told creepy middle-aged men to stop objectifying them. I’ve defended them. I’ve helped solve many an internet crisis over issues such as copyright infringement. I’ve laughed at their podcasts and prayed for their needs. I even sang on their Christmas album Home For Christmas because I’m in the choir that they use everytime they record an album. I’ve waited after concerts to talk to them, check in on them encourage them and give them a hug. I’ve done a lot. All in joyful service and all for the advancement of the Kingdom.

And now, as of tomorrow moring at approximately 7 a.m. Central Standard Time, that season of my life is officially over because the message board is closing down. Why is it closed down? In short, because God told them to close it down. God told them that the season of SP is over. 

I agree with His Will for that. I’m in total submission and understanding of His directive to close the message board. I know that God is moving every person on SP into a new season. He’s going to do great things for all of us if/when we allow Him to. I’m excited and expectant for what He’ll do.

When I sign out of SP for the final time tonight, I know I’ll be sad. A four-year-span of service is a long time. When something that impactful is gone and no longer, it will affect people. It will affect me deeply.  I’m emotionally, physically and devotedly invested in this band and their ministry. I’m part of it. I’m not saying that in a prideful way. However, I am saying it just to say it. I took part in something amazing. I’m so honored God allowed me to do that.

I’m not entirely sure what the purpose of this post is. So I can get my feelings out. So I can say a final goodbye to SoundPost. So I can tell you all to check out BarlowGirl. So I can tell you to trust God when He speaks to you and tells you to move on to the next season. The Barlow family and everyone that serves on their ministry team are truly and sincerely and genuinely amazing people. I’m not saying that shallowly. I’m saying it because I know from experience.

*deep sigh* I could say a lot more about a lot of different things. Maybe I will another day. Or maybe I won’t.

Thank you SP and Barlow family for your ministry. God has done so much through you. Your humility and obedienceto God have allowed Him to shine through you so clearly. Who you are and what you do have impacted me in so many ways. I can stand strong in my singleness beause of you. I can stand as a person free from a terrible addiction because of you. I have met so many people through your ministry. I’ve realized a lifelong dream of singing on a CD. 

I cannot thank you enough for your contribution to my life. 

Now…on to the next, exciting season. *lighter sigh*

I’m ready, Lord. Lead me as I walk in Your ways…

 

The Funds Are In

Hola,

I have great news! I am fully funded for my mission trip to the Dominican Republic! I received two checks yesterday that put me over my support-raising goal! I am so thrilled! God is so faithful to provide!

*deep breath* My mind has not totally wrapped itself around the fact that I will be traveling to another country in July. I have another Dominican Republic team meeting on Friday. I also start rehearsing the drama we will be doing on Saturday. I think things will become more real when I start the drama reherasals. It gives me something tangible and concrete to do. It takes this concept from discussion to application.

If you donated to my cause, thank you. If you’ve prayed for me, thank you. I ask that you continue to pray for me as the trip draws near. And please, definitely pray for me while I’m gone from July 2-14.

 

Dominican Republic Support Update

Hola!

Good news! I received three support checks early this week. God is faithful and He has now provided a large chunk of the money I need to go to the DR.

I am still short on the total amount of financial support needed. But I am so excited for the financial boost that I’ve received.

Praise God!

 

Money Matters

Guess what!?! Another blog about money.

I can understand why God said what He said about serving two masters–God and money. They really do compete with each other.

Allow me to explain. I’m currently in the fundraising stage for my trip to the Dominican Republic. I’ve received one check thus far. Although I am thankful for that, I also realize I’ve got a long way to go.

I used to live in Nebraska. Now I live in Tennessee. Many of my support letters were sent to folks in Nebraska. I understand the United States Postal Service takes awhile. Things take a week to get where they’re going rather than a few days. So I understand there is a delay due to the mail and the distance. I’m trying to roll with that.

My roommate, who is also going on this trip, has lived in Tennessee all her life. Just last week, she went to her old church and her brothers’ church to fundraise. She came home with about $700. I am thrilled for her that her fundraising trip went well! However, meanwhile, I am battling thoughts of comparison. I keep thinking to myself, “I wish I could go back to the church I went to as a kid and ask for money. I bet I’d get a lot. And all in one day. I wouldn’t have to wait for letters to come in either.”

One of my greatest mental battles is comparison. If I’m not careful, I constantly compare myself to others. I size them up. Put them down. Lift them up. Over and over and over again. Though that’s a normal thing to do for most people, it is not a biblical thing to do.

In the Bible, God says that we need to compare ourselves to His standard and not compare ourselves to other people. So I should not compare my fundraising results with those of my roommate. But wow! I am oh-s0-tempted to do that all the time. I’m am currently enduring a mental barrage from Satan with that particular issue.

I am also enduring a mental attack of fear and worry. Fear that I won’t receive the money I need to go. Fear that I’ll miss fundraising deadlines. Fear that I didn’t put enough effort in to my fundraising. 

God says that perfect love casts out fear. He also says that worrying does not add even an hour to my life, so I don’t need to worry. Yet that is what I’m dealing with now. Last night, for example, I was attacked by the enemy in that area. My sleep was interrupted and delayed because of thoughts of worry.

James chapter 1 says that we need to be doers of the Word and not just hearers. So though I know I’m not supposed to worry and fear, that’s not enough. I also need to stop doing those things. It’s not enough to just realize that fear and worry are bad. I, instead, need to be a person of faith and peace.

Last week, I heard a sermon on unbelief. That’s a big issue under hot contention within my mind right now. 

Unbelief is thinking I won’t receive all the funds. Unbelief is worrying. Unbelief is spending my days in fear.

Belief is knowing that God will provide. Belief is living full of faith. Belief is enjoying days and nights in peace.

Unbelief is a passive destruction of faith.

Belief is an active war for faith. 

It’s annoying how alluring and easy unbelief is. It’s so easy to hide in a dark corner of our mind in an effort of self preservation. We think it’s not harmful to be full of doubt and be surprised when something works out for us. That right there is deceptive thinking.

Here’s the truth. The God that created the world out of nothing–FROM NOTHING–lives inside of me. The Holy Spirit was present when the world was created. And now the Holy Spirit is inside of me. It’s at work inside of me. The same God that raised Jesus from the dead…that Holy Spirit is inside of me. And, it’s not just a portion of the Holy Spirit. God is infinite. Infinity cannot be reduced. The infinite God and His power lives inside of me.

And yet, I have the worried fear to doubt Him and His ability?!? Does that even make sense? It does not. Yet it seems safer to doubt Him.

If God can create the world out of nothing (and He can; He did), then He can provide me $1400. He can spur His people to send me a check. He can protect me. He can give me sleep-filled, peaceful nights. 

It is not safe to live in unbelief. God disciplines people who live in unbelief. God rewards people who believe. Although I’m glad God disciplines His children, I don’t want to enter into a time of discipline because of my unbelief.

So here I am writing this blog. As an active measure of faith. To say, “Yes, God. I believe you will provide. Help my unbelief.”

 

First Mobile Blog

I’m blogging from my BlackBerry. Please forgive any typos. I’m glad I found this feature cuz I often think of blog ideas when I am not at my computer. However, I always have my phone.

While driving here, I noticed that none of the drivers in cars wave. In NE, drivers wave via a raising of the fingers on the steering wheel. TN ppl don’t do that. Neither do I. I used to. However, I will start. I wonder if it will just confuse ppl. Oh well. I’ll let you know the results.

 

Memory Bank Full

Sad news…

My laptop has 2% free memory. That is not much. I’m looking into purchasing an external hard drive. I would like to get a new computer, but first I need to pay off the keyboard I purchased.  So I’ll do the external hard drive thing for awhile. 

My piano lessons are going well. I’m learning a lot from my wonderful teacher. She’s such a music nerd, but that means she teaches me lots of interesting things.

I found out I play the piano better when I balance on one leg than when standing on two. If I think too much about what I’m trying to play, then I mess up. This mostly happens when I’m practicing scales. It’s pretty interesting. Sometimes I close my eyes and do better that way too.

Last weekend, I went to Atlanta for the National Fourssquare Women’s Gathering. I’d never toured Atlanta before so it was fun to go to the Geogria Aquarium and the World of Coke. It was also great to lisen to the speakers and hear their inspiring stories.

I’m considering getting my own website. I think it would be good for me to have one. Why? Cuz I’m a freelance writer. I’d like to perhaps write a book some day. I need a place to direct people. I’m feeling led to create one. I don’t know what God has for my future, but I think it will involve a website. I want to write songs with my new piano playing skill. Maybe God is taking me to a greater level of prominence with my writing. Maybe music publishers will look at the site one day and decide to use my songs. *shrug* I don’t know.

Dominic Delorme is a great GPS. I think he is quite effective. We’ve found several geocaches since I purchased him. I’m excited that the weather is getting warmer because that means more time outside geocaching.

Hope you enjoyed my little update. I hope to post more soon.

 

Topical Depression

Nope.  I’m not depressed.  I’m just sad that I can’t come up with one topic to blog on so that’s where the name came from.  I’m having a topical depression. 

1) I’m going to the Dominican Republic (a.k.a. the DR) in July on a mission trip. I think I’ve said that before. We had our first meeting for the trip last Friday. I’m happy to finally have more information about the trip. I need to send out support letters…like…yesterday.

2) I led worship for the first time yesterday at our Sunday service. It was really fun. It went well, too. I didn’t make any big mistakes. Well, I did start singing the wrong notes in rehearsal. But rehearsal doesn’t count, right? And I also–according to my roommate–make my hand singnals to0 big and for too long. I sort of agree with her. I’ll have to work on that for next time. The reason I make them for so long is because I’m afraid the other people on the worship team won’t see them. *shrug* Again, I said I’ll work on it.

3) I went to my first piano lesson last Tuesday. I have another one tomorrow. I purchased a keyboard. It’s a Kawai. Apparently it’s a quality brand. I’d never heard of it before, but I don’t really know what/who makes a good piano/keyboard. I read reviews online and people said good things. Besides, it was the only decent one I could get that offered financing. I can’t just drop $800+ dollars in one day. I neeeeeed financing! I enjoy my piano teacher. I think she’ll teach me a lot. I don’t, however, enjoy the parking situation at the school. It’s actually a house in Franklin, TN. We park behind the house and there’s just not much room back there. Six cars have to squish in there. It makes me uncomfortable. I am a bad car parking person. It’s my unfavorite thing to do. Probably because I once backed into a grain cart and also side swiped (at 1 mph) a column in a parking garage…twice. :O Martina, if you read this, I’m talking about the parking garage for Salem when the office was located on Woodmont.

4) I just had to scroll up to see which number I was on.

5) I’m going to a women’s conference in Atlanta this weekend. It’s the national Foursquare Women’s Gathering. I’m excited to see how the Foursquare denomination behaves at a national level. I have never experienced that before.

6) I purchased a handheld GPS. It’s a Delorme Earthmate PN-40. I like it a lot. It’s quite accurate and comes with great mapping software. I use it for geocaching. It’s a fun activity that my roommate and I (and other friends) do on occasion. Since the weather is warming up we will start to do it more often. I’m excited to use the Delorme more often too.  I need to give it a name so I don’t have to keep calling it Delorme. My car GPS is called Maggie. My roommate’s car GPS is called Rico. Her handheld GPS is called Grim. Her car is called Ibe. My car is called Torrie. So…I just need a name for it. Maybe I’ll name it Dominic. Dominic Delorme.  I like that!

7) My February CD reviews have been published for the online magazine that I write for. You can find them here:

VOTA

Julianna Zobrist

I think that’s it for now. Nothing all that profound written here today. I do have things to say that mean a lot to me and are quite important. Perhaps on another day I will write about them.

 

Tug of War vs. War of Tug

My roommate often tells my dog that she cannot play tug of war with him when he wants to play with her. So, I often wonder why we call that game tug of war and not war of tug.

Cuz they are not really warring in my opinion. They are actually tugging. So I think I will call it war of tug from now on.

What do you think? Vote for what you think this game should be called.